My mother passed away on Saturday, February 7, 2026, at the age of 95. Soon, we will have her funeral and burial, and I’ve been asked to offer a eulogy. So I’ve been crystallizing thoughts about and memories of my mom, trying to develop a proper eulogy that appropriately captures the value and lessons of her life. This blog post is a step toward that end. 

“Fine. We’re fine. I’m fine.”

Those were the words my mother would offer anytime I asked her how she and my dad were doing, even as they aged. Even when I knew one or both of them had some kind of ailment. “We’re fine.” Even after my father passed in 2020, whenever we visited her, she always told us, “I’m fine.” After Alzheimer’s disease rendered her unable to respond verbally, I’m still fairly sure that, had I posed the question, that would’ve been her instinctive thought. “Fine.” That’s because my mother really never complained. She never focused on the negatives so many of us sometimes see. Mom was an unceasingly positive person. She viewed every day as a gift, and more often than not, she had good days. And even if today was not a good day, tomorrow would always be here soon enough. The sun will shine in the east in the morning. There will be new opportunities. This too, shall pass. Whatever didn’t happen just wasn’t meant to be, but what is meant to be will happen. God will provide.

Born on December 16, 1930 in Azusa, California, Jovita Enriqueta Murillo moved with her family as a young girl to El Paso, Texas, settling and growing up in the community of Ysleta, less than 3 miles from the Mexican border. It was there that Jovita attended the same school where her mother managed the cafeteria, Ysleta High School; and she also learned the value of a life in service to others. Jovita graduated from Ysleta High in 1948 and began a brief career in banking. She also enjoyed spending time and traveling with a variety of friends and relatives during her early adulthood, including visits to San Diego to see Abraham Ponce, whom she had met on St. Patrick’s Day in 1948, and who was serving there in the US Navy. Abe and Jovita eventually married on April 24, 1955 at the historic Ysleta mission, Our Lady of Mount Carmel Catholic Church. Upon becoming Mrs. Ponce, Jovita left the bank and began the adult life that she grew to adore.

The Ponces welcomed three girls and two boys into the family in El Paso. In 1971, a new job opportunity for Abe with the Community Services Administration in Dallas brought the family to Arlington, Texas, and the home Jovita lived in and loved for over 48 years — where she saw her children grow up and move into adulthood, and where she also adored and indulged five grandchildren. The house in west-central Arlington was a bit of a haven for her, and she relished her role as wife, mother, grandmother, housekeeper, baker, and chef in that space. Never a complaint. Always a positive outlook. Usually a cookie or snack waiting in the wings. She was fine.

Mom was willing to do basically whatever it took to keep her husband and children happy and comfortable. I can remember back to when I was basically still a toddler and struggled with nightmares – she was Mommy to me back then, and she calmly sat at the end of my bed providing a comforting presence so that I could return to sleep. Her willingness to support went beyond the family. When I was in high school at a summer drum major camp at UTA, my three teammates and I found ourselves with an extended break one late afternoon, but also short on cash for dinner. A quick phone call to Mom, and before long the four of us were enjoying some roast beef and vegetables she happened to have leftover, listening to jazz records on the family stereo. When I was in college, one of my best friends would occasionally ask if we could run to my house before band rehearsal because he thought Mom might have some cookies on-hand. She did, of course. I’m pretty sure she even made us sandwiches more than once.

That’s really who she was. A nurturer. A provider. Doing what you needed or wanted, content herself because you were happy. One of my favorite photos of Mom was taken before I was born, and featured Mom and my four siblings outside the El Paso International Airport when they were picking up my father after a business trip. She looks completely fulfilled in that photo, taking care of her husband and the kids – she seemed born for that role. Mom frequently found herself making the airport drive to pick up Dad over the years. When I was a preteen and a teenager, I was usually her right-hand man on such occasions, helping her navigate to DFW Airport since she sometimes felt uncertain about making the correct exits and turns. It was great bonding time for us — I’m sure I unloaded whatever teenage angst I had, and I know that Mom reassured me in the manner only she could. Mom always offered comfort and optimism, no matter how much anxiety or distress you may feel. It will all be fine.

I’m also sure that Mom prayed for me constantly, as she prayed for all of her family. She used to carry prayer books in her purse at all times, and they were often typically worn out from use. We found ourselves regularly looking for replacements at the local Catholic store. She was particularly fond of St. Jude and sought his intercession regularly. I think it actually went back to her childhood, growing up during the Great Depression. I imagine many people sought intercession from the patron saint of lost causes during those years. Mom prayed novenas to St Jude for many intentions. Her Catholic faith was fundamental to her life. Although she never became heavily involved in parish organizations, she would always contribute something for bake sales and other events. She was steadfast in her faith, and it fueled her optimism and helped her drive away discouragement.

If my mother ever felt frustration, I imagine it came later in her life, when comfort, perseverance, and prayer proved to be not quite enough to stave off circumstances. In 2008, my sister Susan was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer. Naturally, Mom turned to St. Jude. By his grace and the miraculous efforts of doctors at MD Anderson Cancer Center, she was granted an additional 4 years with her daughter. But Susan passed in 2012, and Mom was heartbroken. Yet she soldiered on, taking care of her husband until his enhanced needs and her own physical limitations made it difficult for her to look after him in her customary manner. After Abe suffered a stroke in November 2019 and ultimately passed in January 2020, Mom moved into assisted living. My hope for her was that she could focus on herself at that point, engage in some self-care while gaining a sense of community, especially in the face of an Alzheimer’s diagnosis. But the truth is that without something or someone there to nurture – her home, her family, and especially her husband, Mom found fulfillment difficult to achieve. Yet she still proclaimed “I’m fine.” She appreciated everything the staff did for her, her nice neighbors, and the setting, but she missed her home, her husband, and the life of service she loved. I am at least grateful that, even though she wasn’t always verbally responsive in her final years, she still appeared to recognize visitors easily. Alzheimer’s affected her, but not to the extent where she lost connection with those she loved. Perhaps St. Jude was looking after her. I’m also grateful that her final days in this life were peaceful, not painful, allowing her to pass with serenity.

Most of all, I’m thankful for the values and characteristics that my mother leaves behind. Quiet dignity. Patience. Fortitude. Perspective. Grace. Compassion. Service. We should all try to live those values in her honor. But now that she’s moved on to her heavenly reward, reunited with her beloved husband and daughter — don’t cry for her today. She’s fine.

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