Go Ahead, Waste My Time
The term “convocation” comes from the Latin convocare, which means “to call together.” It’s an assembly, usually of an academic or ecclesiastical nature. Typically, an ecclesiastical convocation might involve church leaders — ordained, lay, sometimes a mix of both. An academic convocation might occur for a many reasons. Technically, all graduations are also convocations, since the school community meets to confer academic diplomas or degrees, but most schools don’t mix the terms. Instead, they refer to graduation as “graduation” or sometimes “commencement.” Today, “convocation” in the academic world is celebrated more as beginning than end. My own alma mater, U.T.-Arlington, hosts an assembly at the beginning of each fall semester that they call “MavsMeet Convocation.” It’s a kickoff to the academic year designed to bring together people from all colleges within the University. It’s basically a pep rally focused on the coming school year, geared toward generating energy, focus, and inspiration for the students. Most local school districts in my area also host convocations, although these gatherings are designed for the staff. We’re talking everyone — administrators, teachers, counselors, nutrition staff, bus drivers, maintenance, security — the whole crew. And I have little doubt that anyone reading this who is or has been in education has already rolled their eyes, rubbed their temples, or placed a palm to the face. Because academic convocation is often a tiresome experience.
During my 31 years in K-12 public education, I attended exactly 30 convocations, all of them in August. (The one I missed was in 2017 when my wife and I visited New York City for my birthday. Ironically, on the day of convocation we attended a taping of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, which was a sharp contrast to your average school district convocation. I’ll offer specifics later.) Honestly, I can only remember about ten of those thirty convocations, and only six of those are for the right reasons. I almost feel bad for the organizers at times, because I know your typical district communications team works very hard to put together a convocation program. They have to work out the transportation logistics of getting everyone to the venue, plan a “pre-activity” to allow for people to enter the space, then figure out how to fill 90-120 minutes with entertainment and information that will be appealing and engaging for that wide audience. It’s definitely a monumental task. And it’s probably gutting to know that A) at least half the audience doesn’t really want to be there, and B) as a result, there’s around a 60-75% chance that the post-convocation sentiment will be negative. And I feel for the organizers; I really do. It’s kind of a thankless annual task, and I’m sure they do their best in spite of the overwhelming chance that it’ll still be a beating. Remember, I worked in testing for almost two decades; “thankless annual tasks” are my specialty.
Despite my sympathy, I still have to say it: School convocations are a waste of time, and money. And we all know it. Yet for some reason, school districts still host them in the name of tradition, or camaraderie, or some imagined district-wide spirit of unity they’re trying to foster. And I get that, too. There’s perhaps a certain anti-climactic quality to a school year that simply begins at your own campus, with only campus meetings and trainings to attend — at least, in the mind of upper administration and the board of trustees, who see the district from a broader perspective and want all parties to feel like they are part of a greater whole. And in all honesty, there is some value in having every single staff member convene in a single venue to send the message that “we value you,” “you’re an important part of a larger team,” and “we wish you a successful school year.” Teachers often lament feeling unimportant, and delivering such a message via e-mail or a Zoom meeting is…well…lame. So yeah, in spite of the time it takes to get everyone to a single place, then seated and settled, it can be nice to have the Superintendent and the School Board President offer some heartfelt messages. That assumes that the Superintendent and School Board President are decent speakers delivering concise, coherent thoughts. I’ve heard some great ones, like Dr. Jim Vaszauskas in Mansfield (who never got enough credit for being funny, direct, and engaging), and I’ve heard some who take themselves way too seriously. I’ve also heard some who perhaps aspire to a career in public speaking after education, but aren’t quite there yet, ifyouknowwhatImean. It can also be nice to have fellow staff members and even students or former students take the stage to offer thanks and encouragement. Depending on your level of experience and connection with others in the district, I think it can also be nice to see people from other campuses and departments, chat about your respective summers, and visit before and after the convocation ceremony.
Teachers often lament feeling isolated in their specific classroom on their specific campus, and convocation gives them a chance to escape for a couple of hours and connect with others they may not see again until this time next year. Those are good things. Connection, community, and a sense of belonging. You can definitely separate the extroverts from the introverts at convocation, as the extroverts are dancing around and whooping it up while the introverts just want to find their seats and wakemewhenitsover. Districts often pull out the local stops with a variety of students: a marching band, cheerleaders, spirit groups, choirs and other performers on the stage. Sometimes there are staff members who help provide the entertainment, like the great Josh Roberts of Four Day Weekend, but often, we find out why this or that staff member made their way into education instead of entertainment. That’s not a criticism of the staff who don’t quite “have it,” though. We know we’re wasting time today, so let’s at least have fun with it. Give the extroverts a chance to unleash their energy. Give the wannabe performers a chance to perform. And please, at least give everyone a genuine message (not necessarily “this year’s motto”) about how important we consider their contributions to the students about whom this whole upcoming year is supposed to be.
Yet there’s always an apparent expectation of more. More entertainment. More inspiration. More speeches. And that’s where most convocations eventually fly off the rails and lead everyone from “This is fun!” back to “Can I go back to the campus and work in my room now?” Because time starts crawling by, wasting away. I refer, of course, to the “convocation speaker.” Usually an individual, occasionally a group, whose purpose is to offer roughly 45-90 minutes of inspirational stories and words of encouragement that will send everyone off in a fantastic mood ready to conquer their classroom, their curriculum, and everything else this school year. I can say that I’ve heard from excellent convocation speakers in my career. Ron Clark (twice). Kim Bearden (from the Ron Clark Academy). Dr. Adolph Brown (also twice). Riney Jordan. Those are the six convocation speeches that really resonated with me in a memorable way, and if you’ve ever heard any of them speak, you know why. The others? Some speakers were probably good, too, but not in a unique or memorable way. I do remember some of the bad ones. My first convocation in August 1994 was memorable because the speaker kept leaning into the microphone and yelling. Trouble is, her amplified yells actually hurt my right ear. I went to the doctor literally that afternoon and learned I had fluid build-up like I had been too close to a gunshot. No permanent damage, but I did have to protect my ear for a few days. I remember one speaker who was doing a backwoods/country persona, telling nonsensical stories that went nowhere. I think it was comedic, but I’m not sure if it was genuinely funny or just absurd. I do know it was not really topical for this audience, and a colossal waste of time. And I will never forget the overall reaction (or lack of it) to the group that “performed” at my last convocation in August 2024. Each of us were handed a pair of drumsticks on the way into the auditorium, branded with the Grand Prairie ISD logo and that year’s motto, “Elevate.” There were moments where everyone was supposed to tap the sticks together as part of the presentation, but truth be told, I never perceived any point to what we were supposed to be doing, and it was possibly the flattest I’ve ever seen a convocation audience in my career. No one really knew what was happening. I’m not sure the performers really knew their audience; their schtick seemed to be very generic and not properly targeted for this group. This convocation total waste, including any money spent. For a district that was facing shrinking budgets, using money on this was unacceptable. But I kept those drumsticks as a reminder — like administrators will encourage teachers to “Remember Your ‘Why,’” those drumsticks allow me to “Remember My ‘Why I Retired.’” With apologies to the organizers of that convocation, it was, in a word, boring.
The point is really this: If we’re going to waste everyone’s time on a given day prior to the first day of school, then at least bring it. 100% Don’t bore us. I referenced earlier that the one convocation I missed was because I was in New York attending a taping of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. I can assert that it was far more memorable than any convocation I ever attended. Why? One word: Energy. It was definitely not a ”big” show for them. Robert Pattinson and Niecy Nash were the guests. Nice enough, but clearly just a Wednesday in August. Yet the energy and professionalism of everyone on the Late Show staff was top-tier. Warm-up comic Paul Mecurio was hilarious. Jon Batiste was a veritable freak of nature and a world-class musician leading a band that was insanely good, especially considering the tickets were free. Colbert himself exuded so much enthusiasm in the pre-show banter, and his rapport with Batiste was amazing. All of this activity was designed to raise the level of energy among the audience so that, when the cameras actually rolled, the Ed Sullivan Theater seemed like the greatest place on the planet.
Granted, that’s the point of any late night TV talk show, because that aura helps keep the viewer at home engaged. It goes with the territory. We shouldn’t have high expectations of our convocations, though, should we? I’m saying here and now, absolutely we should. I know that The Late Show catered to a live audience of around 400+, and many school districts have at least 10 times that number of employees. I know that district communications staff have a multitude of tasks beyond simply the annual convocation. But here’s the thing: Even though a convocation is technically about 2-3 hours, it actually burns half a day, morning or afternoon. That’s a morning or afternoon during which teachers could be preparing for the year, working in their rooms, planning lessons, collaborating with each other. There is stuff to do to get ready for the school year, by every staff member, and this exercise interferes with that. Yet that’s fine, keep up the tradition of convocation. Waste everyone’s time. Spend some money on a speaker. But if you’re going to insist on holding this event, please do it right. Plan some entertainment, plan some speeches, but don’t allow them to be boring. Make the extra phone call and put in the extra work to ensure that the entertainment actually entertains and that the speeches actually inspire. And for goodness’ sake, if you’re hiring a contract speaker/presenter, vet them properly. Just because the superintendent saw them at a conference and thought they were pretty good isn’t enough, especially when spending taxpayer dollars within a tight budget. Check reviews, check references, and work with the presenter to ensure they understand who the audience is and what the point of this presentation is. It’s one thing for district officials to gather staff to tell them how important they are, but the event itself, and the work that goes into it, shows them. So sure, go ahead and waste my time. Just don’t bore me.
